The Home Crowd

For the pet lover who doesn’t like unsightly pet beds lying around the house.  That is, unless you have an affinity for giant shedded-hair coated pillows.

If this looks like the ideal pet bed for you, it can be picked up at Midnight Pass.

Unfortunately, even thought the operation seems fairly simple, there are a few finer points you might want to keep in mind.

• Probably best not being placed between your bed and the 2 a.m. nocturnal stumble to the bathroom.
• When finding that the latch will not close entirely in the upright position, please unfold, remove dog/cat, repeat closing operation.
• If you have out of town guests that haven’t seen your Pet Murphy Bed, it’s very entertaining to present it as… “And here’s where you’ll be bunking down for the night!” and then laugh in gest if you’re about to reveal their actual accomodations…or try and hold a straight face if you’d prefer they find a local hotel.

For the gun afficianado, the overbearing father, or general Tony Montana types, I give you the Bedbunker.  A gun safe for those who wish ‘Guns and ammo’ was carried at the register of your local Bed, Bath, and Beyond.

Seem crazy?  Maybe… Maybe not.  Households with guns have few options for their safekeeping.  There’s trigger locking mechanisms, and there are gun safes, which vary from small fireproof safes like you’d find at a office supply store, to full size, monolithic steel cabinets which are more than able to house an assortment of hunting rifles, shotguns, handguns..

Of course under your bed mattress is a strange place to think of as gun storage.  What’s the alternative?  A giant cabinet taking up valuable closet space, or possibly just an eyesore in your den.

If you’re an overprotective father of a teenage girl however, the going standard is still the glass case within a ten foot radius of your front door.

Besides, the only use that box spring was providing was support the mattress so that it didn’t sag into an 80 pound hammock.  Plus it’s not powder coated with gas springs that support it’s 140 pound doors.  (but moving… call movers, ’cause your friends will never forgive you for that one.)

But if you’re in a quick bind, it’s best to have a traditional mattress disguising your bedsafe, because the memory foam mattresses are a big spongy pain in the ass to slide aside.

However, if you’re really planning on being in a quick bind…

1. Might wanna quit the drug game
2. May wanna call an exterminator about the ‘rat problem’ instead of waking the neighbors
3. Might wanna follow up on the following informercial..

Bedbunker website – Link

Apparently, this video was made to win some sort of radio contest, but according to the clip’s host, he’s been waking up to this mistreatment every morning for four years.  (and no doubt, scaring away all the dorm roommates his student housing authority could toss at him)

Also, not for those who sleep with their tongues hanging anywhere past their teeth.  I do, however think this guy should run with the idea a little bit.  Maybe not for the masochistic section of bed, bath & beyond, but maybe there’s a future in marital aid/massaging beds and furniture?